New ideas and Twists

I decided to take some of my holiday funds and make me a quilted bag.  Then a lovely young boy asked me to make him a scarf so in the middle of it all, I stopped to knit.  So here's a preview of both. 

After being sewn and ironed

I LOVE LOVE LOVE fusible batting! 

And the beloved scarf: 

I'm going to try to start posting more.  I'll probably be doing alot of ranting about cleaning, unruly kids, and craft crunches.  Possibly with a touch of baking involved.  :)

Time for a Change

   So it's been nearly a year since my last post.  Alot has happened and alot is still going on.  I'm transforming this blog into a self-care/venting/crafting blog.  I'm pretty sure no one reads this so it seems perfectly ok for me to say pretty much anything I want and/or need to.  So here goes.

   About a year ago, a super big bad thing happened and my marriage went south and my husband almost lost his career.  Since then, I have been through anger management, marriage counseling, personal counseling and home personal therapy.  Because of the incident last year, there was a possibility that my husband would not be allowed to re-enlist.  I found this out about 4 months ago.  So because of my GAD, OCD, and extreme need to plan everything down to a T in advance, this possibility sent me over the edge.  My jaw stayed clenched for months.  A pain in my TMJ muscle began to develop due to the stress.  Then I got the phone call.  The call saying that all was well and he was allowed to re-enlist.  YAY! You would have thought I would  have a sudden tension release, but no.  My body was so used to being tense, that it seemed impossible to reverse.  It's been over a month now.  I'm still perma-tensed.

     Now to backtrack a little bit.  I've had a sleep problem for years.  Ever since the GAD actual began showing signs.  There's been very few phases in my adult life that I've actually been able to just lay down and go to sleep.  In my younger years, I needed virtually no sleep, so I would stay up until 2 or 3 am, finally fall asleep and wake up at 6 to do what I needed.  After I moved out at 19, I found that a few drinks a night would effectively put me to sleep.  And I would sleep well.  It wasn't an all the time fix. Not at the time. As life progressed, I worked 1-2 jobs at all time, at which time, I would bust my butt and easily sleep exhausted.  Since becoming a stay at home mom 8 years ago, and a military wife to boot, my life has become increasingly more stressful.  I heard on the radio today that being a full time SAHM is the the MOST stressful job, scientific studies show that SAHM's have a higher stress level and are more frequently treated for anxiety and depression than mom's who work outside the home.  Boy, did they ever get that one right!

      So recently, I finally conceded.  I admit that I have an alcohol dependency to sleep.  I do not believe that I'm an alcoholic.  I don't NEED to drink to get by.  Just to sleep.  So I sought out medical treatment.  My doctor is very understanding.  He knows I don't like to take pills or any kind of medication.  But I also don't like that I feel this need to drink to sleep.  I would LOVE to lay down and actually fall asleep within a half hour instead of 3 or 4 hours.  So I'm doing medicine rotations to find something that helps with my anxiety and to help me sleep well at night.  I'm on my second set of meds.  The first was cyclobenzaprine (Ultam).  I insisted on the lowest doses to assist me.  It worked, sort of, after a couple glasses of wine (which, imo, is SO much better than 9 or 10 shots of liquor to sleep).  I explained to the doc at my follow up, that the meds weren't as effective as I had hoped.  So he prescribed Atarax.  This drug is prescribed to treat allergic itching for the most part, but it also prescribed to treat anxiety (yay!), help with sleep (double yay!), and to ease alcohol withdrawal symptoms (ok, maybe?).  Took it for the last time last night, slowly sipped on a glass of wine for over an hour.  I woke up (actually overslept by 2 1/2 hours), feeling like I drank a huge amount of alcohol.  At first I thought that this was a horrible thing.  However, after eating breakfast and drinking a glass of water, I felt normal.  All of a half an hour had passed since waking.  So perhaps this is a side effect I can live with.  I think that instead of taking the pill at 9 pm at night, perhaps I should take it around 7 pm, that way I can wake up on time and deal with the side effects before my kids ever get out of bed.

     All that being said, this will still be a crafting blog as well, since crafting is the one thing that allows me to keep my sanity.  It's methodical, intricate, delicate, and people with OCD definitely make better crafters, IMHO.  So I will begin posting pics again of my projects.  In the last year, I have made my first real quilt, finished Ebbie's blanket (which I started when she was 18 months, so it only took about 6 years to finish), and started on Izzy's matching blanket in purple.  I also had Ebbie draw out a quilt design and color it.  We went and bought the fabric in the color scheme she wanted.  After all this was done, she told me that she wanted to make this blanket for Izzy since she, herself, already had a quilt.  Sometimes she can be so sweet to her sister.  And as I say that, they are in the office fighting and screaming at each other.  LOL!  So on with my life, making a change, taking charge and in the middle of my crafting, taking time to fix myself in an attempt to be as close to normal, or as close as possible for me.

     If anyone is out there, stay tuned for progress reports, on myself and my crafting.

Another Day, Another crunch

    Ok, so today I have a to do list taller than my house.  I might get something done, though I doubt it will be significant.  I did, however, manage to get the living room picked up first thing this morning, though by now, I'm sure it's back into it's catastrophic state.  I have rats to care for, dishes to do, and I have this extreme urge to clean and reorganize the fridge.  I think I will do that first lol.  I'm almost done with baby shower gifts, getting ready to start on wedding gifts. And quilts. And old blankets that still need to be finished.  And holiday stuff like costumes.  Oh jeez.  I think my list just got bigger.

Adventures in Procrastination

I seem to do better under pressure.  Perhaps that is why I procrastinate, and why I do it so well.  I had promised myself that I would make Izzy's birthday cake yesterday and wrap her presents as well.  That way today could be nice and relaxed.  Well, neither happened.  And I slept WAY in this morning.  So we had brunch, Izzy went up for her nap and I've been go go go ever since.  So here's how my afternoon went.

     So, got up at 11-ish (fell asleep on the couch last night, ugh).  Made the girls lunch.  Played around for a bit with them.  Then Izzy had to go up for her nap.  This is when I went into full *mom has too much to do* mode.  I started making the cake.  Then I started making the frosting.  Izzy was very specific about her cake.  Chocolate cake with purple chocolate icing.  Now we all know you can't make brown into purple, so of course, to cater to my baby girl, I got white chocolate.  Here's some pictures:

So yeah.  She's spoiled.  Both of them are.  When it comes to birthdays, we don't have much to give, but since I'm a lowly stay at home mom, I can at least manage the cake of their desires, as you've witnessed before.  Once the frosting was prepared, I set forth in wrapping the gifts.

I swear it looked like more in the store bags lol.






I finally took a breather about 4 hours into it all.  Then we brought down Izzy, showed her all the wonders that she would enjoy after dinner.










Then we had pizza.... again.  This is 4 times now this week, simply because it's Izzy's favorite food, and I allowed her to pick most of the meals for her birthday week.


But before I get too ahead of myself.... I want to make one thing clear.  I have those little gel icing things so you can do writing on a cake.  Recently, I found Ebbie in the kitchen eating from them.  Sneaky little brat.  So I hid them, up high.  Apparently they got really warm and somewhat separated.  I managed to do the best I could with writing on the cake.  And for reference, if you ever make cake from the side of the Hershey's cocoa dark container, don't expect icing to be pretty.  Here's what I mean.

See the pieces of cake that floated up into the icing? It's a very super soft and super moist delicious cake.  It crumbles super easy, so icing is very tricky.  5 years of making this cake and I STILL can't ice it without the crumbles, but who cares? 

No, it doesn't say 31, it says 3!  But like I said, the gel stuff was oozy.  Like.... say.... runny.  Just look.

In the beginning this was a heart.  I swear.  Izzy didn't seem to notice the catastrophes.  She was thoroughly impressed with the whole purple-ness of it all.  That was enough for me.  Her wish was granted. 

Have you ever seen a dirtier, happier birthday girl? I think not.  Mission accomplished :) Regardless of procrastination.  

Feeling the crunch

     Well, with all the frugalities aside, I'm also feeling the cleaning crunch.  I get so caught up in fixing everything else that I forget about the normal day to day things.  In the wake of my crafting frenzy, I've neglected my poor home.  And my girls have done nothing to help.  There are toys EVERYWHERE.  And I mean that.  I found a toy behind the toilet this morning.  How in the world did that get there? I've noticed that everything needs a good deep cleaning.  I think I'll start this friday morning (that would be tomorrow for those that are calendar impaired).  So today, my job is to put away the rest of the laundry and begin making a list of everything in detail that needs to be done.  Hopefully, by the end of the weekend, I'll have most, if not all, checked off.

     Another thing that needs to be done: Cleaning out the girls toys.  With Izzy's birthday party Saturday and Christmas just around the corner, I do believe that the girls need to weed out their toys.  I really would love to spend a whole day just sitting and going through their menagerie. Ebbie has a toy box.  It's filled with stuffed animals.  Yes, a toy box of stuffing.  I'm doing some serious thinking about what I can put up in her room to showcase these fluffy friends without causing more clutter.  The only solution I can see is to get her a bigger book shelf.  Books on the bottom, critters on top. And she seriously needs a big girl desk.  We're looking into getting her the nickelodeon dell laptop either for Christmas or her birthday.  She'll need a big girl desk for that.  Then we move on to poor Izzy.  She has such a small room, I would love to dress it up a little and make the most of the little space she has.  As a matter of fact, I think I'm going to make these my projects (can you see me getting in over my head here?).  I think she needs to be rid of some of the "baby" toys, and move on to the big girl toys.  As a matter of fact, there should be hardly ANY toys downstairs now.  She's big enough that if she wants to play, she can go play in her room, right?  I'm not moving too fast with this am I? I would love for my living room to be just that.  And then I could put the girls desks where the toys are.  Along with a crafting station of some sort.  Pardon me as the thoughts flow lol.

      I disappeared for a couple hours and lost my train of thought. Perhaps that's a sign for me to escape the rest of the day. Or perhaps that just means shut up and get back to knitting cause I only have a few weeks left.  Either way, I guess that's the end of my brain function for the day lol.  Well, that is, until it's time to make dinner. Making one of hubby's favs: pork lo mein ala Mo.  :)

    

Tragically Frugal Times

I have begun a mission. Times are tight for the next 4-6 months. In this time frame, I must purchase birthday gifts, wedding gifts, baby gifts, Christmas gifts, make Halloween costumes, etc. My first major task at hand is the Halloween costumes. And this is why I write today.

So Ebbie wants to be a witch. Nice, simple. Great! However, Izzy wants to be "Alice". Not so nice, not so simple. Ugh. So here is where my dilemma begins. The big "Halloween fabric" sale is going on this week. And I can't go. Period, end of. Not happening. However, luckily, I have a roll of 12 yards of hideous fabric in my closet. It's a brown/maroon paisley monstrosity that I purchased on clearance when I decided it would have to do for my living room curtains. Needless to say said curtains never got made. Now, I can't seem to see any kind of issue in dying this fabric black continuously until the print no longer shows. But dying it blue? Or getting it white? I've been doing some research and have seen the Rit dye color remover, but will this work on this fabric? And will I, then, be able to dye it a nice light blue? Or leave it white for the apron? This is my major dilemma. Any assistance? Is anyone even reading this? PLEASE HELP! (lol)

Hopefully, I will be able to craft up something special for a baby shower and wedding gift. And hopefully, I will be able to do that with a little discount yarn. And hopefully, Santa will be extremely generous this year and I won't have to pay a cent out of pocket (but somehow I don't see that happening). Perhaps, this is all a valuable life lesson so that I can learn to be more thrifty and actually have money in savings. Now there's a noble thought.

My very first task, even though I'm technically working on the costume situation, is Izzy's birthday party this weekend. And looking into the face of good ol' hurricane Earl, this could get interesting. I'm making her a dark chocolate layer cake with white chocolate icing. But the icing will be purple, per her request. She'll have a few gifts to open, and a ton of ice cream to make a mess with. And as long as Earl stays at bay, or at least allows us to keep our power on, these plans are full steam ahead. Once this weekend is conquered, I'll be moving on to the more tedious tasks. And as the days go by, I have a feeling I may be blogging A LOT more, simply to vent, or to at least get my thoughts out into cyber space in hopes that someone will have pity on me and explain all this to me in a way that a 5 year old would fully understand.

So keep your eyes open, cause something tells me there's going to be a lot of blogging going on soon.

Ever have the overwhelmed head spinning thing....

While you're actually sitting down? That's how I feel right about now. It's all good. I do this to myself every day. I look at my house and think of all the things that need to be done and while thinking of this as a whole is overwhelming, I know that if I make a list and pick a day to do certain things that it will eventually all get done. However, this IS America, and we DO love instant gratification don't we? Suddenly I want to cast a spell and have a whirlwind come through my house throwing everything back in place and taking all the dirt with it lol. Wouldn't that be GREAT?!

Nothing is more motivating to clean a certain room than, well, bugs. Bugs are great.... outdoors.... and away from me. In my house, there should be NO bugs. But there are. We have the super ladybug population here, so every time the weather gets warm, these little buggers find a way in. I don't know if they eat through the walls or what, but they find a way in. And then they die. Everywhere. Yay for Dyson and it's cyclone technology and telescopic handly that allows me to suck them up from a distance because for some reason, I'm utterly sickened by the sound of dead lady bug carcasses crunching and clacking as they get sucked up. We also now have ants. Not a lot, just a few.... at a time. They like my window over my sink in the kitchen. I do believe they may be living in it. They appear to be carpenter ants, which I'm used to and know how to ward off, but even rainy days don't stop the little buggers. They come out in groups of 3 and 4, explore, and then run back to tell their friends. I've spent the last 3 days wiping down their pathway with vinegar in hopes of confusing them and causing them to just go away. It's not working. I'm seriously thinking of lining all the windows, doors and corners of my house with double sided tape. They might find a way in, but once they walk across the tape.... they are here to stay lol. Or not. I could definately imagine hearing Ebbie or Izzy or both screaming "MOMMY! I'm stuck to the window!" Hmmm, now that I think about it.....

So I'm in spring cleaning mode. Mentally. Physically, notsomuch. I have such a long list of things I want to get done, but my first priority is cleaning and decluttering. First and formost, my kitchen needs rearranging. I'm not feeling my yin and yang getting along too much in there. I'm taking care of that today. I hope. I need to weed through the catastrophe of the living room and get rid of a BUNCH of toys. I really really think my kids have too many toys. I never could have imagined having this many toys as a child. It's ridiculous. Really. I need to organize my office. Everything else is just normal cleaning and can wait since it's all upstairs and who cares what my upstairs looks like anyway? LOL!

In the midst of all this, I have to go on a statewide hunt for strawberry flavored Kool-Aid powder. I've looked in at least 4 stores now and no one carries it. I think there is a strawberry Kool-Aid nazi here. Seriously. No strawberry Kool-Aid vor joo! 2 weeks!